“What Do You Like to Do for Fun?” (And Other Questions That Make Me Want to Disappear)

You know those questions that are supposed to be light, breezy ice breakers, but actually make you want to evaporate into thin air?

“So… what do you like to do for fun?”

“What do you do for work?”

"Tell me about yourself!”

“What have you been up to lately?”

It’s one of those questions that makes my mind go completely blank. Like, who even am I? What is fun? Do I… do fun?

Because suddenly, I’m not just answering a question, I’m deciding how much of myself to reveal. How much truth to share. How safe it feels to be seen.

And I know I’m not alone in that.

If you're sensitive, introverted, or still a little tucked away in your witches broom closet, answering that question can feel anything but simple. It’s not just about naming a hobby. It’s about whether or not your interests are something the world is willing to understand.

The Mask I Used to Wear

In my teens and early twenties, I didn’t know how to answer that question, so I let alcohol answer it for me. I used drinking to define what “fun” looked like… or to at least numb myself enough to tolerate typical social activities that didn’t feel good in my body. Most of the demands of the world, drained me, but I didn’t have the words to explain why.

So I masked. I shapeshifted. I did what I thought I was supposed to do to be liked, to belong, to seem normal. And in the process, I slowly disconnected from myself and the things that actually lit me up.

Why does this question feel so complicated?

Because most of us were taught that “fun” means something loud, social, or externally stimulating. Game nights. Brunch with the girls. Beach volleyball. Happy hour. Karaoke.

If your joy looks more like sipping tea while rearranging your altar or wandering the forest in silence, your brain might not even register it as “fun.” And even if it does, trying to explain that to someone else can feel vulnerable, like handing them a delicate piece of your soul and hoping they won’t laugh or look confused.

For a lot of us, fun looks like:

• Losing yourself in a book

• Rearranging and decorating your living space for a new season

• Making herbal concoctions

• Watching the way smoke swirls through the air after you snuff out your spell candle

• Tracing our fingers along the bark of an old tree and picking wildflowers

• Listening to the birds sing as the wind tousles our hair

• Scenic drives with a playlist that hits just right

• Walking barefoot on the earth and connecting to nature

Fun doesn’t always fit into neat little boxes labeled hobby or activity. It’s more like a state of flow or a moment when the outside noise quiets and we feel most like ourselves.

So why do we freeze?

The freeze is a nervous system response to the potential risk of being misunderstood, judged, or laughed at. It’s a mix of protection, past experiences, and the awkwardness of trying to translate your inner world into words.

We live in a culture that glorifies the extroverted, the productive, the easily explainable. So when your joy is internal, or a little mystical, it doesn’t always translate into casual conversation.

When you’re not responding with something expected like “pickleball” or “happy hour”. There’s an ancient survival instinct that whispers: don’t get cast out. 

So we fumble. Our brain does a somersault. We say, “Uhm… I like nature?” while trying to shape ourselves into something socially mainstream.

Maybe the better question is...

• When do you feel most alive?

• When does your nervous system sigh in relief?

• When do you feel most like yourself?

If your an empath, HSP, or lean more introverted, your “fun” likely overlaps with what's healing, creative and your deep inner world. It’s not compartmentalized. It’s woven into your days in quiet, beautiful ways.

You journal because you need to process. You walk in the woods because your body remembers. You light candles and pull cards because it helps you tap into your inner knowing.

That’s not just soul care , that lights up the areas of our brains associated with "fun". We just haven’t always been taught to name it that way.

Maybe, somewhere along the way, you were made to feel like your joy was “weird” or “boring”, so you tucked it away.

But it’s still there. Quietly glowing.

If you’ve ever stumbled to explain your interests, I see you.…

Honestly, it’s taken me a long time to be able to answer that question without shapeshifting into some half truth version of myself. Taking time to really learn who I truly am, underneath the worlds expectations and to understand things like high sensitivity, and introversion has helped me pinpoint what actually lights me up. Your astrological birth chart, and tools like the Myers Brigg Personality test and human design chart are also amazing for this.

I’ve gotten more comfortable saying things like, "I'm kind of a homebody. I love doing yoga in my backyard, or going for long walks in the woods." and not feeling weird about it.

I’ve also learned that I don’t have to share detailed specifics with someone who doesn’t feel aligned or safe. I usually don’t need to explain my full moon rituals, or how I make herbal tinctures and rearrange my altar when the seasons shift, unless I've gotten that cue that I'm in the presence of another kindred spirit. And even then I may still keep it to myself, because somethings are just too sacred and special to share.

A lot of my hesitation around this question has roots in social anxiety, and in a long-held habit of masking (mirroring others to avoid judgment) and dimming my truth to stay “palatable.”

But the most powerful antidote I’ve found? Practicing authenticity. Letting myself be seen, one honest moment at a time. Speaking my truth has been empowering, even when it’s quiet, different, or not what someone expects.

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If this post resonated with you…You’re exactly who I created The Art of Daily Ritual for.

This self-paced course is a gentle invitation to return to your inner rhythms, honor your sensitivity, and create a life that feels like home. Through simple daily rituals and soulful practices, you’ll learn to infuse your days with meaning, in your own way.