Letting Go: What Does It Actually Look Like?
- christinaeve
- Nov 17, 2025
- 5 min read
You don't have to spend a long time in spiritual spaces to realize there's a lot of emphasis on “letting go”
I recently held a de-manifestation circle on Samhain, where our rituals centered around this topic. As I prepared what I wanted to share, I realized just how deep "letting go" can really go.
We hear it all the time “release what's no longer serving you”
But what does it mean?
Turns out, its not as simple as pushing a button and deleting a file.
Then we think we’re doing it wrong because we’ve tried to let go of the same damn thing fifty times. Or we feel ashamed that an old wound resurfaces even after years of therapy, yoga, rituals, journaling, whatever. We assume letting go should be clean, instant, and linear… and when it’s not, we label ourselves as failures.
But, letting go isn't about magically erasing your pain.
It’s about changing your relationship with it.
It’s about owning the story, rather than it owning you.
My Story
When I was pilgrimaging in England, I carried scraps of fabric with me to tie onto the branches of trees at sacred sites. This ritual of tying ‘clooties” has Celtic origins and is done for healing, and releasing the pain of a wound or sickness.
The fabric I carried was pieces of a uniform I wore as a teenager in a court ordered treatment center for troubled youth. That uniform symbolized a trauma that branded me. The fabric sat heavy on my shoulders during the hardest chapter of my life.
From waterfall, stone circle, sacred well to sacred well, ancient ruins, caves, and chapels, I traveled and left pieces of this story behind and the way it kept me prisoner.
At Madron well I sat, with my friend Kate as my witness, and I spoke a bit of my story out loud, both owning it and releasing the need to keep it secret. I dipped the cloth in the well and wiped in on my neck, asking for the shame that silenced me to be removed. Then I tied it loosely on the tree branch where hundred of previous pilgrims had hung theirs.
And in doing so, I handed it over to the earth, and it no longer clung to me.
Did it work? Yes in so many magical ways it did.
But did the story disappear?
No.
That story is a part of my path. Without it, I'm not here sharing with you.
But it released some of the shame around it, transforming my perspective in a way that lets me speak more freely about it today. And because of that, things have been set things in motion that were previously blocked, and things that I was previously really unsure about, are starting to click.
I should also mention, this wasn't the first time, I had done work to release that trauma. I’ve done countless therapy sessions, reiki clearings, shamanic journeys, yoga, somatic movement, you name it.
And one might think, if you have to keep coming back to it, then the previous attempts didn't work. But that's not necessarily true.
The expectation shouldn't be to delete this experience but to chip away at the way at the beliefs you hold around it, and release those pieces that are blocking your path. Thus changing your relationship to it.
The expectation should be, that it will be circling back.
So keep in mind when you “release” things, it may not look like a poof, disappearing act, but more like a gateway to the next phase.
Small Stuff vs. Big Wounds:
Not all letting go is created equal.
Some things we release are surface-level. They look like habits, reactions, minor grudges. Others are deep wounds that have shaped who we are. The difference matters so we can have realistic expectations.
Surface-level patterns:
The coffee you keep buying even though it makes you anxious
A small grudge that replays but doesn't define your sense of self
Scrolling when you meant to rest
Release looks like:
You notice the pattern and then interrupt it by choosing a different response. You keep practicing the new choice until it feels more natural than the old one. Building new habits through breath work, movement, and conscious repetition help your nervous system learn a new rhythm. These shifts tend to feel accessible once you bring awareness to them and refusal to re-enter a pattern.
Deep-rooted wounds:
Abuse or institutional harm that shaped how you see yourself
Shame that lives in your body, not just your thoughts
Memories that resurface even after years of work
Release looks like:
The wound doesn't vanish, but your relationship to it shifts. You'll come back to it again and again through therapy, ritual, boundary-setting, and rewriting the narrative. Each time you return, you'll be standing in a different place. Deep wounds ask for patience, witnessing, and often professional support. You won't "finish" it in one retreat or ritual, and you'll revisit it sometimes for years, or a lifetime, and that's ok. As, you work through it, you learn to hold it differently.
Physical Practices for Letting Go
Your nervous system, your breath, your muscles, your voice… they all hold pieces of the story. These practices help move that energy so release becomes something you do, not just something you think about.
3 cleansing breaths: inhaling in through the nose, exhaling out through the mouth with an audible sigh.
Somatic movement: gentle shaking, free-form trance dance, swaying
Grounding yoga: slow movement, hip openers, supported twists, long exhales.
Journaling: when you write it down, you acknowledge it, which can loosen its hold on you.
Speaking it: with a trusted person who can hold space to listen to you without fixing it or offering advice.
Tiny boundary practice: practice saying "no" to one small thing this week
Ritual: create small acts of release/offering (like tying a clootie or leaving a stone)
Professional support: trauma-informed therapists, EMDR, group therapy, etc.
It's a spiral staircase:
If you picture healing as a ladder, every time an old pattern resurfaces it feels like a slip backward.
But if you imagine your healing as a spiral staircase, the repeats become signs of progress. Every turn brings you to the same lesson, but from a new perspective. You start to notice where cracks have filled with gold and where things still need attention.
So let yourself spiral, and don't be afraid to revisit things, knowing you're all the wiser for it.
If you're ready to dive deeper into this practice:
Grab the De-manifestation Guidebook and the Rituals of Release Bundle to support you through the process.
Comments