What Is a Women's Circle? (And Why You Need One)
- 3 hours ago
- 5 min read
There's a recurring pattern in my life, of finding myself sitting in circles with strangers.
What started with clinical settings not necessarily by choice— hospitals, intervention programs for teens, and AA meetings in old church basements—would later transform into yoga retreats, shamanic ceremonies, and moon circles.
I’ve shown up largely alone. Never really sure what to expect, who I may encounter, or how awkward it might be. I just show up, trusting that the answer as to why I’m there will be revealed to me.
If you find yourself being called in someway to circle...this post is for you.
What is a Women's Circle?
There’s something about sitting in circle that wakes up an ancient memory inside of you.
So much of our history, does not have written record. Knowledge was often passed down in communal gatherings through storytelling, song, ritual and memory. Stone circles, burial sites, cave paintings, and pottery have been discovered all over the world, pointing to this.
In many ancient cultures, women were the healers and the threads that held the community together. For thousands of years, they have gathered around fires, under trees, on the full moon, and in kitchens. In these circles, wisdom was shared and life cycles were honored. This was a place where grief, joy, hope and power were held and kept alive together.
As patriarchy solidified and took over, a circle of women would be considered dangerous and threatening to the systems in power. During the burning times, much of this was pushed into secrecy or dismantled altogether.
We can thank the women who continued to preserve the old ways and keep feminine wisdom alive. We honor them and carry on the traditions of our ancestors by forming our own circles together today.
Together we continue to weave our souls remembrance.
Why We Circle
We all know many things are wrong with the way the modern world is operating.
Things are increasingly dividing us and encouraging us to retreat into isolation.
Doing it all by yourself is seen as strength.
“No days off” is seen as the path to sucess.
How hard you grind is celebrated more than how well you take care of yourself, or the quality of your relationships with others.
We are sold a myth that healing in linear.
This is a rigid, masculine approach.
Do xyz, and problem solved.
But the feminine approach to healing is done in community.
We are biologically wired to heal with others.
Women respond to stress by producing higher levels of oxytocin (the bonding hormone). Paired with estrogen, this causes the instinct to “tend & befriend” rather then “fight or flight”. We naturally seek to co-regulate and feel safe by bonding with others.
This is why we circle.
In it’s simplest form a circle is an intentional gathering of people, in a space set apart from our day to day routines.
It’s not a place we come for someone else to give us the answer, its where we share our voices, open our hearts, dump out the contents and sift through it together.
It’s a space to be seen and heard without the masks we use to hide behind and business of small talk that keeps our deeper selves suppressed inside.
When we witness a woman sharing her path to healing, a part of ourselves is healed too. Her share is medicine for you, as yours is for them.
This is so important to remember when we think we have nothing of value to share with others. I find time and time again that another persons words, end up answering questions I didn't even know I had. Or someone moving through similar struggles as me, reminds me that I’m not alone.
What to Expect From a Women's Circle
If you have never been to one and are wondering what you can expect, there are some similarities you will generally find. These are what I consider the green flags to look for when searching for a circle or creating one yourself:
No hierarchy: every voice is equally valued. And everyone has space to be heard if they wish.
Authentic sharing. Showing up however you are in your feelings, whether grief, joy, anger, tears, When you put down your mask, you give permission for another woman to put down hers.
Holding Space. Being witnessed in our shares and listening to others without the need to “fix” anything or give advice.
Non-Judgement: When we all show up with compassion and respect for each others paths, there is no need for competition or comparison.
Deeper connection: Whether to the other women in the circle, or to ourselves and our spiritual practice via any rituals or sacred work done inside the circle
Freedom of choice: There is no pressure or expectation to share or do anything you don't feel comfortable with.
Cycles are honored. Life transitions, rites of passage, seasonal and lunar phases are honored as sacred.
Modern day women's circles take many forms, no two are exactly alike.
What sets them apart from a casual hang out with friends is there is typically a structure that the facilitator or host of the circle that guides everyone through during your time together. Generally it will follow a flow that looks like this:
A Grounded Opening:
Welcoming guests into the space, introductions, and a way of clearing jitters, grounding and centering into the present moment. There will often include a symbolic way such as calling the directions or elements to cast a circle, or designate sacred space in some way.
Meaningful Middle:
This is where the magic happens and where it can vary a lot depending on the nature of the circle, the intention of the group and who’s organizing it. Covering the theme or topic of the circle, sharing agreements for the circle flow, open sharing, rituals, meditations, activities, journaling, etc.
Closing the Circle:
Closing the circle is just as important as the opening. This is a way to symbolize the potency of the work that was done, and the exchange of energy shared. This allows everyone to feel a sense of closure together, before parting ways and opening space back up to the world outside of the circle.
The path is never straight.
The thing that actually changed my life was when I started showing up for myself.
This looked like walking into rooms where I didn't know any one and wasn't sure what to expect and knew I was going to feel awkward but my curiosity and my desire for something more was stronger than the fear.
I showed up.
And then, I just kept showing up
And every time, it’s been more impactful then anything I've tried to do alone.
The calling back to circle and out behind the screen has been getting louder and louder until I could no longer stand the constant pestering in my mind, got out of my own way and set a date...
Please RSVP to christina@everituals.com or send instagram DM to @christina.eve.rituals
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